Salmon Piccata (NSFW)

Made some din 4 my dad’s work pal since da wife is straight outta surgery. Made a few servings for my ‘rents too. Did this and a salad and some brownies. Mom paid me enough for me to get a new chef coat too so bet ur ass I wasn’t gonna fuck this up. You could probably switch the order of steps 4-7 and I pretty much never do it the same way every time, but this seems logical.

By Andrew Cooter

Salmon Piccata (NSFW)

Ingredients

  • 1 bunch parsley, #chopped
  • 1 jar capers
  • 1 lemon, zested and juiced
  • 1/2 stick of butter
  • 3 salmon fillets (or however many you can fit in your pan)
  • 4 cloves garlic, minced
  • Parm. Get a block, not the pre-grated shit. Don’t be an amateur.
  • Spaghetti.
  • White wine

Instructions

  1. Queue up some Arctic Monkeys. Boil some water for your pasta. Once it’s boiling, put your pasta in the water. And for the love of God, salt your pasta water.
  2. Sear the salmon over medium-high heat in the pan with some Diddy oil. Once both sides are seared, set aside on a sheet tray. Reduce heat to medium-low.
  3. Now you’ve got some fond in the bottom of that pan. Oh yeah baby. Now it’s sauce time.
  4. Using the oil left over from the fish, saute that garlic until it’s fragrant as hell.
  5. Put some white wine in that pan to deglaze the fuck out of it. Drink the rest.
  6. Throw some butter in there. However much you’re feeling. Monté that shit.
  7. Throw some capers in there. Or don’t, then you’ll have a scampi kinda vibe going on. But that’s not what we’re going for.
  8. Reduce the heat. Throw in your lemon zest and juice, and your parsley.
  9. Remove salmon from the oven and return to pan. Baste the hell out of that shit to get it moist in the beautiful buttery sauce.
  10. Plate your salmon on top of a bed of spaghetti. Put the rest of the sauce on top and grate some fresh parm on there too. Mama fuckin’ mia that’s glorious.
  11. Enjoy. (Mandatory)